Monday, December 5, 2011

Here we go...

It has been almost a year since we began REALLY talking and praying about adoption. Almost a year since we felt the call to go the route of Foster to Adopt. Almost a year since I have been fighting or ignoring the tug on my heart to do Foster care to adopt.

I thought maybe just maybe, I was hearing wrong. Okay, maybe I knew in my heart all along that this was God and just chose to pretend I was not sure. We all do that sometimes right? Right? I am not the only one am I?

.......

So after a year of playing the good ol' game of denial, I heard God loud and clear. In an audible voice. PS I am not crazy. Before I was saved, before I experienced a real life relationship with God, I thought people were crazy when they said they heard God. Not true. God actually speaks to us, if we are willing to listen.

Okay. I promise. That is my last tangent. Where was I even going with this?

Oh, yes, my conversation with God. I am calling it a conversation because I am a little embarrassed to call it what it was an argument. The "conversation" went something like this.

Major tug on heart once again. Stronger than ever. Telling ME that it is time to do foster/adopt. 

Me: "God, I can't. I think this is what you are telling me to do but I can't. I am too scared. I am not strong enough to lose a baby I love"

God: "You don't have to be. I AM. I am big enough and strong enough to get you through this. Remember your miscarriages? Remember how broken you were? Did I not pick you up and pull you out of that?"

Me: "That was different. When I lost my babies I knew they were going to you. They were safe in YOUR arms. I was okay with that"

God: "So will these babies. I will be with them. Whether they are with you or with their birth moms or another foster home. I will be with them"

Me: "I'm just not ready. Not yet. I will be. I trust you. I'm just not ready yet."

God: "You trust me? Then what are you waiting for? Drop your net and follow me."

Me: "My net?" ::Remembering the story of Simon (Peter) and Andrew:::

Looks like we will be doing Foster to Adopt.

At the beginning of the year we will start the process. We will be filing out paper work. We will be preparing our home. We will be getting ready to welcome hurting babies into our home.

We would love it if you would pray for us.

Pray for our hearts. That the fear of losing our babes will be minimal. Pray that every child we come in contact with would feel our love for them. That each one would be rescued from their pain. Pray for guidance. That we would know exactly where to go and what to do. Just pray.

I am getting excited about this journey. I am still scared. I want to rescue all of the motherless/abused/neglected/hurting babies. I want to sweep them up from the system and give them a forever home. I know that God is going to use us. Whether the first baby in our home stays forever or we take in 25 and they all must leave, I know He has a plan. I am scared but I am done letting that fear control me. I will follow God. I will have a new baby soon. I can't wait to meet them. Eeeek!

Keep praying. Come along on our journey with us and help us to pray and love on any and all of the children that come in our home.

6 comments:

  1. Congratulations! This is so exciting and I'm so proud of you for listening and obeying...what a hard thing to do with something so huge! Praying for you and for this child that will enter your family!

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  2. oh this is amazing. The Lord is so wonderful! You are going to be blessed beyond measure for your obedience. Praying for you and your family and for the child that will get such a loving home. I'm here for you friend!

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  3. :o) you know Im praying! I cant wait to ride along side and watch your amazing family DO amazing things!! AND maybe learn a few things along the way! Love ya friend! YAY!

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  4. I can't help but feel like God has a little person who needs exactly what you are. That whatever child is placed in your arms is hand picked and will thrive within your family. You are about to experience so many feelings and emotions, but over all others, a blessing is on its way. #sendingprayersyourway

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  5. Awesome! Have you heard of Safe Families (http://www.safe-families.org/) or Olive Crest (http://www.olivecrest.org/)? I encourage you to check them out. Both amazing ministries along the same lines you're thinking in.

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  6. This is so amazing!! you guys are going to be such wonderful parents to these foster children. You're going to love the death out of them as my pastor says.

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